so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
