let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Randomize
