This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
handjob tips. give me some.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize