Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize