i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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