She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
