Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
