Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
last night I used snow as a chaser
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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