Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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