she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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