all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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