Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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