My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize