when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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