She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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