New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
