I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
