Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
