You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I got inside last night via doggy door
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
