im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
