Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
