An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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