TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
