Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
