One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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