But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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