I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
