He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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