i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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