You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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