I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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