Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
