Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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