honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
