playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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