Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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