I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
as a side note pls kill me
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
