i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
