i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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