D3 body, D1 cock
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
