i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
