just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
