I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She even gives head with a lisp.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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