just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
