Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
