I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
