It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
