dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
