And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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