I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
this boner is exhausting
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize