her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
it's great music for shaving your balls
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
