woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
