why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
