He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
