She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
