the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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