today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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