I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Buhtt sex?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
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