You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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