And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
