Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
