i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
