Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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