I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
pray to the hookup gods
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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