I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
