You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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