And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
