She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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