just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
