Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
