i think i have two assholes
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
