Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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