your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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