omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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