Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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