I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Ladies don't puke and tell
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
